We carry around the “manuals”

What are the "manuals" I'm talking about? 

Think about the operating manuals you receive when you buy electronics, computers, automobiles, etc. — these are detailed, written instructions about how these items operate.

I'm saying that we also have "manuals" for our relationships. These are unwritten expectations we carry around for significant people in our lives — detailed guidelines about how we want them to behave so we can feel good and happy.

Many of us believe that our happiness depends on someone else's behavior.  If they would change, our life would be better. But when we focus on wanting other people to behave differently, we don't realize it is actually our expectations — the "manuals" — that cause much of our emotional pain.

We might not even be aware that we're carrying around these unwritten expectations. But we think or say things like this: 

• "My husband should remember my birthday."

• "My friend should invite me when she has a party."

• "My co-worker should be kind and understand when I am frustrated."

• "She should ask me to be a bridesmaid, godmother, etc."

• "My son should get an A in school."

• "My wife should have dinner ready when I come home."

Does this sound familiar? 

Are you carrying around stacks of manuals for your spouse, kids, friends, siblings, parents, and co-workers? 

Do you sometimes find yourself feeling furious, disappointed, angry, sad, or rejected — because of things other people "should" or "should not" do?

With Mindset Coaching, many of my clients are being released from anger, unforgiveness, and hate.  They are experiencing freedom and joy — and even beginning to feel love and understanding in broken relationships.

Here's what one of my clients is saying: "I was so angry and could not forgive my husband, kids, and my mother. I did not even realize I was carrying manuals for everyone around with me. After Mindset Coaching with Sandy, I feel more love and joy."